HOSPITALIZATION #4 IN A PSYCHIATRIC WARD

This past summer our son was hospitalized 3 times for mental problems and medicine stabilization.

For 5 months we have managed to make it through every emergency without resorting to the hospitalization route.

But...

for the mentally ill there often comes a breaking point...

and the family has to make that TERRIBLE decision to call the police.

Fortunately, our city has a non-emergency number besides the 911 number.

When the police arrive, there's also a team that specializes in mental health calls.

Along with the uniformed officers, there's also a non-uniformed social worker.

Both will be part of the evaluation team and will determine if taking your loved one to the mental hospital is necessary.

In our case, it was an easy decision.

After a week at the hospital and a change in medication, our loved one is doing a little better.

Still we live day to day.

Time for a 5 minute break.

***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F90Cw4l-8NY

TRUST ME TO TAKE MY MEDS....NOT!

Dear Friends,

If you have a loved one with mental illness, they will invariably ask, plead, bargain, and cajole you to skip their medications.

My advice: firmly say NO!

***

Someone with diabetes MUST take insulin.

No matter what!

People with high cholesterol MUST take their medicine...

NO matter what!

It's the same with mental health.

It took 3 trips to the mental hospitals here in our city to get it right.

And that's not worth any compromise.

***

Today we once again let our loved one try and take their medicine independently.

And tonight I've just found out that they skipped it.

So now it's back to being the 'police' and watching them take their meds.

I need a break!

***

For today's 5 minute break I have a beautiful song by Brandi Carlile. 

It's called "Have You Ever." 

Brandi is one of those folk singers that belong in a group of living legends.

She is an amazing songwriter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKzrW-Na958&list=RDeILn0ujOIis

FIRST WEEK BACK FROM THE PSYCHIATRIC WARD: DOWN & UP & UP & DOWN

Our son was released from the hospital one week ago. A week that felt like a month.

Minute 1: Upon our greeting he declared that he'd rather live on the street than live at home with us.

Nice start.

Minute 2: We found out that he had skipped his medicine the night before. Great hand off.

Minute 3: He wanted to know how we were going to make him take his medicine now that he was out.

Hard ball....and...at this point we were wondering if we were even going to make it to the door

and into the car.

On the way home we tried to hand him a medication for anxiety and he hit his mom.

We were on minute 14.

We stopped by his psychiatrist (miracles do happen...we could get in and were in the area)

so that we could restate how taking the medicines would save him from going back

to a lock up facility.

We also got the OK to up the dosage since the hospital was going to do it anyway, but instead released him.

(...which now made us the guinea pigs from here on out)

***

Day 2: Better

Day 3: We found the Partial Hospitalization Program that was on our insurance. We filled out the paperwork then went home.

Day 4: We got our son to the program. The counselor met with us and we formulated a plan.

He joined the Second Chance group for those who are survivors of their own suicide attempts. 

(Yes, it's that serious)

Day 5: Lots of rage, depression, anger about the unfairness of life. But still taking meds.

Day 6: Horrible out of town trip. Endless battles with bad attitudes. Trip ended with his idea of wanting to jump off a pier to drown. (Wow, fun trip for all us....wonder if things are going to get better....ever)

Day 7: Better day. He apologized for the 'jump off the pier' ordeal. Lots of exercise and outdoor activities helped. Had friends over. Nice, but a bit of an overload. Build in 'alone' time concept into each day.

Day 8: Second week of Second Chance program. Great talks with counselors and with their psychiatrist. He is formulating ideas of what's going on. Our son is still having huge fears of slipping back into unreality.

We read the Bible and pray each night before bedtime. Psalms 40 is our favorite.

And there ends week ONE & I need a break.

***

Today's 5 minute break brings us back to Vasquez Sounds with a beautiful rendition of Demi Lovato's 'Skyscraper'. This girl can sing...she's got the magic touch. And her two brothers don't miss a beat. What a wonderful family band!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbcPtrf3_NE

my garden fence

MUSIC THERAPY & OCD

Music can be a real help with OCD thoughts.

A comforting message,

a smooth rhythm,

a lovely voice.

These can be soothing to a mind on overdrive.

My son has OCD and other mental health issues.

We both agree that music therapy has positive benefits.

What are his favorite songs?

I don't know. 

But I'll tell you one of mine.

***

Today's 5 minute break brings you a new face and a new group from Mexico.

Vasquez Songs consists of 3 siblings....two brothers and their younger sister.

Dad runs a sound studio, so the trio has been around music all their lives.

The videographer works magic here.

All around, this is my FAVORITE music discovery of the year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rBBwt8hnzw

Hurricane simulator in Galveston, Texas

KEEP ON PUSHIN' BACK THE DARK

Our son is out of his second round in a Psychiatric Hospital.

He is now in a Partial Hospitalization Program

and he is fighting hard to not be depressed.

***

It's our job as parents to always stay OPTIMISTIC

to stay POSITIVE

to PRAISE the small accomplishments.

Mental illness is not anyone's fault,

and it can happen suddenly

to just about anyone.

Read some of the online stories and you'll see.

***

We take no small victory for granted.

The idea of JOY is slowly returning.

The idea that there is a BETTER FUTURE is creeping into the dark cave

that we call mental illness.

The medicines can meet us half way,

but there needs to be a circle of smiling faces

around the campfire

looking back at each other

and PUSHING BACK THE DARKNESS...which leads me to this song...

***

It's called 'Pushing Back the Dark' by Josh Wilson

Light a Candle and listen

and then listen again and again.

My gift to you, my friend.

You do not sit there in the darkness alone.

I'm here with you.

David/:0)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co2gthaWVrQ
"The Simple Version" of the song:

The "Fancy" Version of the song:

butterflies in a store

DON'T STOP BELIEVING

Our loved one is coming home today from an extended time in a psychiatric ward.

We have no idea what to expect, but we hope for the best.

People with OCD, schizophrenia, mood disorders, and depression often feel like

prisoners of their own minds. They feel powerless.

Perhaps this little story will help.

***

Victor Frankl had every reason to stop believing.

A prisoner in a Nazi prison camp;

Victor watched as every prisoner came to terms

with losing all and facing death daily.

Victor noticed to his utter amazement that some

prisoners shared their meager rations with others.

No guard could stop this act of kindness.

No force could stop their utter

sacrifice.

The were not powerless.
***

For Victor, he realized at that moment

that no matter how much we have lost

we have one thing inside of us that will always

be safe from any evil force...

that is our decision to be a light

in the face of darkness.

There's much more...but for now

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

***

Today's my 100th post and the song is exactly what

we need.

A fun version of

'Don't Stop Believing' by Vance Perry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8C_w3ipMwY

99th POST & NOWHERE CLOSER TO AN ANSWER

The change in the diagnosis of our son

 marks a change in our path to recovery.

The new medication seems to be working but it's difficult to say

how all this will play out once our son is back home.

I know that
  my pastor wants me to relax and not worry so much.

I know that
 the counselor/psychologist up at the treatment center

has told us
 that our family has to continue in normal patterns

and
 that we
 must find
 ways for our son to fit in with these normal patterns.

I feel like I'm on call all the time

for an emergency.

I jump whenever the phone rings....

Is it the treatment center?

Has something bad happened?
***

I have to give myself a 5 minute break.

***

My all time favorite song for relaxing....

'Fields of Gold' by Sting.

Hope you can relax with me.

David/:0)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeKE2Z-9HVM

from our garden today.

VISITING A PSYCHIATRIC WARD

It is not easy to visit a family member in a psychiatric ward.

But that is exactly what we have been doing for the past 8 days.

Each day is different.

Some visits are filled with optimism and hope (like today's visit).

Some are filled with confusion (why aren't they better today?)

and some visits are filled with dread

 and despair (why are they worse....I thought they were getting better?)

***

When you visit, always stay positive and speak clearly.

Holding hands is nice if they are open to this.

Limit your visit to 5 minutes if they seem disturbed emotionally.
Don't take their mental problems personally.

Some medications are agitating, so don't be surprised if they blame you for troubles.

Avoid confusion by always staying calm and reassuring.

Ask simple questions but just enough to get a handle on how things are going.

Questions like...are you eating?....are you sleeping?...are you taking your medicine?....are enough for one visit.

A great way to connect is to bring photos from a family album.

Bring photos of the loved one's childhood, home, pets or vacations.

Remind them of happier times.
Encourage them that things are going to get better and that this is not forever.

***

Some places allow outside magazines or books

and some allow outside foods or snacks.
Bring some of these during your visit, but

always check first to avoid disappointment.

***

We sometimes bring some paper and pencils and draw together.

Our loved one likes to draw and this also gives us an idea of how he is doing.

*****

After the visit, ask the nurse the same questions you asked the patient to see if they match up.

If you can, find out what medicines are working and what's not.

Research each medicine at home to see what they are used for and the dosages commonly used.

Ask the nurse to write down the names.

Once you get back out (remember, these are locked units), you will probably 

not remember.

Be friendly to the staff....this is the absolute BEST thing you can possibly do.

They have a very difficult job;
a task very few people would want to do each and every day 

of their lives. 

The staff members I've met are always caring and loving...a fact that allows me 

to sleep at night with less worries.

***

Today's 5 minute break is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

It's a bit sad, but one I think you will enjoy.

The song is "Why Should I Cry For You" by Sting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x3UV6o4TrY

Thanks to all for your prayers for our son.

David/:0)

from our garden today

YOU ARE IN A PSYCHIATRIC WARD & I AM WRITING YOU A POEM

Here....we watch

There....they listen

Here....we watch you 

falling into a stare

a stare that goes nowhere.

There....they listen and they work

They work on the medicines that will bring you back

from that vacant stare....

that goes nowhere.

Here...at home we wait.

and there in the hospital...they wait

We both wait for
 the same
cloud
to
lift.

We both wait for clear blue skies

filled with lovely birds

and lovely thoughts

flying, gliding, and floating

Birds free to fly

Thoughts free to fly...

beyond the clouds

beyond the fog

with light everywhere.

For you are never beyond repair..

Grace meets you anywhere...

even inside the stare.

****

Today's five minute break is from Everfound

with the perfect song...

'Never Beyond Repair'

Too see the band:
http://www.youtube.com/user/everfound?feature=watch

To hear the tune:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykkUzOBml8o

QUESTIONS...BUT TURN ON THE MUSIC WHILE YOU READ IT

This blog has taken a turn...

down a road

that I don't understand
&

that I can't follow

without God.
QUESTION:

How can someone come home from work

each day

and look in their family member's room

his empty room

and remember

that 

he is in a psychiatric ward?
That's what happened this week. I can't write about it yet.

But I promise

that for those of you have gone before me

I will read your blogs

and listen to your stories.

Because I don't have a clue what's next.

The hospital is nice

and the doctor's are the best.
***

That's good

because he's a complicated case.
Bad things are happening inside his brain right now.

Yet....

somewhere

inside is our son...

the             one        we      used       to        know....
and that we will always love.

***

Today's 5 minute break is a song
with words that comfort

and a message 

for anyone
going
 through
a
 tough time.

The song, "Worn" sung  by Tenth Avenue North.

Thank God for songwriters like these.

And considering this video has over 500,000 views, there are many

others who feel the same.

Thanks for stopping by.

from the ever hopeful,

D/:0)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zulKcYItKIA

TIME TO BEAT OCD AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN

This week was the most difficult of all for our son.

He has come to a point of giving up 

because

his OCD thoughts block him at every move.

His violence and rage is aimed at those around him.

And especially his family.

So he is getting medical treatment at a hospital this week.

PRAY PRAY PRAY

That something good will happen!

***

In the mean time, it's time to BEAT OCD...

even if it is symbolically with drums and bongos.

Here's a fantastic Danish drumming group called Safri duo.

David/:0)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Sj3omZEB8s&list=PLB259DDDE07D9404A

OCD + CAFFEINE (STIMULANTS) = CHAOS

The line up of 'bad guys' when it comes to caffeine

MOUNTAIN DEW THROWBACK = 54mg caffeine

SUNDROP= 63mg caffeine

Lipton Can of Tea (not shown)=  only 8mg caffeine

AMP energy = 142mg caffeine (you'd have to float away drinking 17 3/4 cans of tea to equal the caffeine)

FULL THROTTLE=200 mg of caffeine (equivalent to 20 cans of Lipton tea!)

***

Only after the terrible mood swings, anger, verbal attacks, irritability, and threats

did we start to suspect that our son had added something to his diet.

The energy drink addiction started when he was given a FREE sample 

at the local rodeo when he was 14 years old.

Caffeine addiction is a threat to many people with OCD because

it puts their intrusive thoughts into overdrive.

For our son, he appears frozen in place like a statue

after having too much caffeine.

That's because every thought and action is blocked

by his OCD mind telling him

 that

 'if he moves this way or sits down

or goes into his room' 

the world

 will end.

So he does nothing but freeze

out of fear of doing something wrong.

Such is our life with OCD & caffeine addiction.

Working through caffeine withdrawal is horrible & also my next topic.

Stay tuned.

Thanks for stopping by.

David/:0)

***

For today's 5 minute break I'll show you something very different

and very wonderful. 

Shadows will never be the same.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4Fv98jttYA

DO PEOPLE NOTICE MY OCD IN PUBLIC?

A common theme with our son and his OCD

is the constant worry

that someone

is noticing his rituals

when he is in public.

He does not eat in public because of this

and he seldom wants to talk to others

due to his Aspergers condition.

I'm sure other people with OCD worry about public places and being 'watched'.

Well, I have great news for you...

I think after watching this music video you will feel

very relieved.

This dancer went to an airport terminal and danced like crazy

just trying to get someone to notice.

But to no avail.

Just watch and see. It's great therapy! 

I laughed to think of our society and how 'self-contained' we have become.

***

Here's the video, "Dance Like Nobody's Watching: Airport Version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S32bgx36G-0

from our garden

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

Mine is for doctor's to find the final answer

for OCD!

And for my son to live a life free from intrusive OCD thoughts.

What's yours?

****

The Impossible Dream

is today's 5 minute break.

You'll be inspired....I promise!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSFKnc93to8

a monarch butterfly in our garden

Thanks for stopping by!

David/:0)

GETTING PAST OCD & FAMILY SECRETS

First read this quote:

"I was about 12 or 13 when I developed my eating disorder, and at that time nobody in the public eye talked about their body issues," said Lovato, who has sought treatment in the past for substance abuse, bulimia and bipolar disorder. "I feel that if someone had admitted they had a problem, then I wouldn't have gone down that route myself."

"That's my goal in talking about my problems: I want to be the person for other girls that I needed to admire when I was looking for help and strength," Lovato added, "and it's OK to love your body the way it is, and it's OK to reach out for help if you have drug and alcohol problems, or if you're self-harming or being bullied."
                                                            source: The Huffington Post ~ June 10,2013 online source

When I started this online journal, I had to decide if our son's OCD, autism, caffeine & sugar addictions and social phobias would stay a family secret....or
be out there for the public to see.

The choice became much easier when I started searching on Google for 

other families dealing with these multiple issues.

There wasn't a lot out there to read.

Since that time, I've found celebrities that have faced addictions that could easily ruin their careers and stay hidden from public view. Others have decided to help others with the same struggles.....like Demi Lovato.
And I've decided to do the same.
David/:0)

***

Here's her song 'Heart Attack' for today's phenomenal 5 minute break. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AByfaYcOm4A

a flower from my garden

WHERE TO BEGIN ON THE THERAPY JOURNEY

As parents, we work with a psychologist who

specializes in OCD.

Our son has a number of conditions that complicate matters

and this makes it a team effort on what to do first.

Here are the categories:

OCD

Asperger Syndrome

Caffeine addiction

Sugar addiction

Panic attacks

Some of these are internal and some have external sources.

For example, you can DECIDE if you want to guzzle an energy drink

loaded with caffeine.
On the other hand,

b you can't DECIDE to have Asperger Syndrome.

You also
 can't decide to have PANIC ATTACKS

or OCD. 

So our son and the pyschologist decided to work on the one area that is

most debilitating.

So....we are starting with PANIC ATTACKS.

PANIC ATTACKS can really ruin a day, a job, a relationship, a life.

So wish us luck!

***

Today's 5 minute break is another fine song from Nicole Cross.

Here's her version of Daft Punk's "Get Lucky".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vmrPrYJPqI&feature=em-subs_digest

from our garden this June day

TIME TO BEAT OCD AGAIN & AGAIN

Every time I feel crazy and helpless

against our son's 

battle with OCD

I find a great drummer

that can BEAT this mental disorder...

even if it is symbolically.

Today you are in for a real treat for 

today 

you meet

Fede Rabaquino from Uruguay.

He's got to be the most upbeat (pun intended)

and happiest drummer on the planet.

David/:0)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K125X_RFyaE

His story:

Hi everybody my name is Fede Rabaquino and I was born on November 8th, 1983 in Montevideo Uruguay. I first started playing drums when I was 10 years old, I’ve always loved music and especially drumming. Although I play different instruments I found that through drums I could make people happy, make them laugh with me and surprise them by doing crazy stuff like unexpected stick tricks and wild jumps all the way through my drums 
Sometimes people say to me that they can feel the happiness and fun I’m having when I play drums, that’s true and I really can’t show another face other than a BIG SMILE when playing because I’m doing what I love!!!

In 2006 I was studying architecture at “Montevideo’s University” and I wasn’t as happy as you see me today in the videos I’m uploading, I wasn’t sure enough if I could make a career as a musician in my country because most of the people I know that are musicians don’t live exclusively by playing music, they have other jobs and most of the time are stressed because it’s very difficult to earn enough money to live decently.
But I took the risk and gave it a try because I could never work as an architect or behind a desk for 9 hours a day, I needed to start pursuing what I felt was my dream, so that year I stopped studying architecture and move to Argentina to study in the Contemporary Music School.

I always think that great thing are still to come and I pray to God to have good health and stay mentally focused to handle all the blessings and obstacles I’ll meet in my path.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS AND KNOW ME A LITTLE BIT MORE.

YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6wamfhN1Ag

CONVERSATIONS WITH A SUGAR & CAFFEINE ADDICT

Each day our son battles OCD

and autism.

The intrusive thoughts are made worse by

having extra sugar and caffeine.

His behavior regarding these two drugs (yes, they are both drugs...albeit legal)

is one of an addict.

Here's today dialogue:

"Dad, I need money for lunch."

"No, eat something here."

"But we don't have anything to eat." (but what he really means is that there's nothing he likes)

"You spent the money  on energy drinks and a bag of chips last time."

"But I won't this time. Just give me another chance." (the mantra of all addicts)

"OK, but where will you go?"

"Taco Cabana and get some tacos."

"Here's $7.00....exactly enough."

ONE HOUR LATER....

he walks in with a bag of chips.

"Did you eat lunch son?"

"No."

"Why do you have a bag of chips?"

"I don't know."

"Did you drink an energy drink with caffeine and sugar?"

"I don't remember?"

And of course he did.
His counselor, his doctor, his psychiatrist, a sleep specialist,

and of course his parents have told him that energy

are forbidden since they elevate his OCD off the charts.

And so ends his chances for future money....at least until

we figure out what to do.
Never give an addict cash. Go with them to buy the item they need.

***

Time for a 5 minute break. Here's the Cello Song

by the Piano Guys. (I know that doesn't make sense...it's a long story.)

Thanks for visiting. It means a lot to have others thinking about & praying for our son.

David/:0)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry4BzonlVlw

from my garden

HOW DO YOU SAY GOOD-BYE...FOREVER?

Zach wrote songs to say good-bye.

He died of cancer last month at

a very young age.

But here he is...on his own videos.

***

And the lesson for us all....don't take any day for granted.

And don't put off loving those around you!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_290795&feature=iv&src_vid=sDC97j6lfyc&v=KvSYZHmhIAM

and in Zach's own words if you care to watch...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nECijjMl8yY

OCD, ASPERGER SYNDROME & GUNS

I don't like writing this.
I was held up at gunpoint in my front yard last week.

He didn't shoot

and I didn't give him my wallet.

We fought to a draw and I'm glad for that.

But as I talked to my friends

some have asked if I had a gun.

The answer is 'no'.

It's not that I'm against them.

I was raised on a large Texas ranch back in the 1960s where we needed guns for

protection against venomous snakes

and sometimes wild packs of dogs.

We were also hunters.

But what stops me now from having a gun

is the unpredictability of children.

You don't have to have a child with OCD

or a child with Autism

to worry about guns in the home.

Just any child will do.

Children and guns don't mix.

Here are some examples of children with guns and what can happen:

Eight year old dies at gun show...

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/27399337/ns/us_news-life/t/boy-accidentally-kills-self-gun-show/#.UbnFwvm1F28

And here's a list of examples collected by a pediatrician of small children who died

accidentally from firing a loaded gun:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/safety/a/gun-accidents.htm

***

Today I found a song that uses an unloaded gun

as part of the sound effects.

I'm not sure it counts as a relaxing 5 minute break.

But it's a much better use of a gun

than a child aiming one at another person.

All for now,

David/:0)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XWKpAZWRBg